Celebrate the Whippet Breed

DOG SHOW BARBIE'S


1. Dog Groomer Barbie - This Barbie is always brushing, trimming,
clipping and bathing. Her only draw back is that she is constantly wet and
covered with hair. Comes with clippers, grooming table, comb, brushes,
grooming smock, lint brush and Band-Aids. This Barbie is so busy, her
canine clients often look better than she does.


2. Dog Handler Barbie - She comes with a moveable arm which can be
snapped into place for perfect show handling. No way to lose with this
Barbie beauty showing your mutt. She will do anything to win. She has been
known to sleep with judges. This Barbie includes the book, "How to Suck
Up and Win", a long with many pocketed outfits for showing. Motor home
not included.


3. Dog Handler Assistant Barbie - She's a handler wannabe who loves
abuse. She is covered with hair, chalk and grooming spray. She comes with
her pockets stuffed with assorted leashes, collars, combs, squeaker
toys, and brushes. She is often seen with a variety of spray bottles
hanging from her belt. She always smells of liver and has dark circles
under her eyes. She has permanent leash marks on her hands from dogs whose
owners insisted they were trained. She comes with all of the above plus
a stress management video.


4. Dog Show Judge Barbie - This Barbie is looking for the right dog.
After many years of picking "losers" for men, Judge Barbie is content
finding "winners" in the dog ring. She comes with clipboard, granny
glasses, frumpy dress, the AKC guidelines on the perfect dog, a white glove
to detect foreign substances, sensible shoes and a current rabies shot.


5. Dog Show Chairman Barbie - A blunder on our part, this Barbie comes
complete with a case of Lady Clairol, a prescription for Prozac and an
unlisted phone number.


6. Ring Steward Barbie - This Barbie is shy and reserved. She wears
Nike running shoes for those quick trips to the potty due to lack of
relief stewards. She comes with a map of the show site, so she can find her
way back to the ring, crying towel for those inconsolable losers,
rubberbands, armbands and a megaphone for the hard of hearing. She also has
a monogrammed folding chair for her use only.


7. Junior Handler Barbie - She is always a winner in her own mind. She
comes complete with a short skirt, a ponytail, and a bad attitude.
Unfortunately her life span is very short.


8. Pooper-scooper Barbie - This Barbie has no sense of smell (for
obvious reasons) and is a glutten for punishment. She comes with a pooper
scooper, muck boots, an orange vest, a lighted miner's helmet for those
evening pickups, a sack of shavings, bleach, a mop and a bucket.  She is
often found surrounded by flies and "cleanup" is her middle name.She has
a Certified Sanitation Engineer Degree through her local Community
College.


9. Dog Show Vendor Barbie - This Barbie is not cheap and neither is her
merchandise. She comes complete with a vending tent and sunscreen. She
also has a variety of dog related items. If this Barbie doesn't have
it, they don't make it.


10. Dog Show Photographer Barbie - This Barbie is truly a sight to
behold. Her photographer's vest is loaded with no less than fifty rolls of
assorted film and a multitude of squeaker toys to get your dog's
attention. She never takes a bad photo and will refuse to shoot ugly dogs.
If you mention her name in your ad, she will give you extra 8 x 10's for
free!


11. Whelping Barbie - This Barbie completes our line of Dog Show
Barbies. She goes anywhere help is needed. She births babies at a moments
notice. Comes with van, cell phone, dental floss, scissors, towels, goat's
milk, forceps, coffee, and a pillow for those endless nights.



PERFORMANCE DOG BARBIES


OBEDIENCE BARBIE: Barbie comes with a training bag full of gear, a set
of utility articles, a full set of regulation obedience jumps, her own
lawn chair, cooler, a subscription to Front and Finish, and her very
own obedience Golden Retriever "OTCh Sparklepond's Shorestepper's
Heelalong Fool" better known as "Two-hundred". Accessories such as HIT
ribbons and high scoring club plaques can be purchased separately.


TRACKING JUDGE BARBIE: Barbie comes with a polartec snowsuit, Gore-Tex
raingear and boots, wool socks, leather tracking gloves, silk long
underwear, sunscreen, bug spray, a baseball cap, a waterproof clipboard,
mylar paper and space pens in three colors. She also comes with whistles
in two different colors to match the snowsuit and rain gear, a complete
set of tracking flags, a compass, and a set of 12 different tracking
articles. Unlike most Barbies, this Barbie always has a "bad hair day" so
it's best to leave a hood or the baseball cap over her hair at all
times. Included in the deluxe version is Barbie's tracking dog "Pokealong's
Can't Find Squat TD", or "Sniffer", a Siberian Husky who comes with his
own harness and rope as well as a lifetime supply of hot dogs. Sniffer
has been known to eat start articles with one gulp and turn the start
flag into a large toy at TDX tests, grabbing it in his mouth and running
in large circles around the field (especially when there is a large
audience watching). This version also comes with a case of Valium for
Tracking Judge Barbie for this very reason. This is the most expensive
Barbie and most collectors prefer to leave her in the original box.


AGILITY BARBIE: Unlike most slim, attractive versions of Barbie, this
Barbie is quite muscular from hauling very heavy A-Frames,
Teeter-Totters, and dog walks. She can carry an A-frame panel with one arm
and set up all of the contact obstacles single-handedly. Barbie comes complete
with a full set of agility equipment, lawn chair, cooler, stopwatch,
battery operated fans, an open-sided tent for shade, sunscreen, bug-spray,
rain suit, waterproof boots, 57 different agility rule books for all
occasions, and her very own courier (Ken) who can hand deliver agility
entries to the most popular trials and stand in line for Barbie. Ken also
helps set up the equipment. Barbie also comes with her own agility dog,
Border Collie " U-Atch Runaround's Speed Demon AX, AXJ, etc, etc, etc,
BFD", or "Contact". Trailer for hauling agility equipment sold
separately.


And last, but not least, the most popular one of all is the


DOG CLUB PRESIDENT BARBIE, who comes with TWO cases of Miss Clairol
hair color (to color her own gray hair), a monogrammed strait jacket, a
leather-bound copy of "Robert's Rules of Order", and a gold-plated gavel.
The gavel unscrews at the end and is secretly a 357 magnum which can be
used to keep unruly club member under control or just get rid of them
all together!


Four wheel drive Sport Utility Vehicles and Mini Vans complete with dog
crates are sold separately for all versions of Barbie


Author Unknown